The answer is, sadly, very bad indeed. A Narcissist will do any and all of the following things on a daily basis, without a backward glance, and without caring one iota how much they are hurting you. The Narcissist, whether male or female, has an inexhaustible armoury of weapons that they can and will use against you. Below are just a few such examples,
1. Verbally abuse, belittle or humiliate you.
2. Lie to you – pathologically, as they are incapable of telling the truth.
3. Steal from you – including hiding your car keys, throwing out your medications, and giving away treasured possessions, to name just a few.
4. Cheat on you, often blatantly, repeatedly, and often with several suitors at any given time.
5. Taunt you with their affairs and stories about their new lover’s prowess in bed, their generosity, and how they are better than you in so many ways.
6. Slander you to your family, friends, work colleagues etc (smear campaigns)
7. Try to control every cent you earn
8. Go into a rage if you question anything they do, or refuse them funds
9. Accuse you of cheating when you haven’t.
10. Ruin social gatherings
11. Refuse to go to an important event with you, or ruin it if the do go
12. Conversely, they expect you to drop everything and go with them wherever they want, whenever they want.
13. Insist that you do whatever they want, whenever they want it
14. Threaten to leave you, prevent you from seeing your kids, and even accuse you of abusing them and/or the kids.
That’s just a short list… I could go on and on, but you probably know more than I do if you’re in the unfortunate position of being in a Narcissistic relationship.
So how do you break free of this type of abuse? 5 Tips to help you.
Firstly, you need to learn as much as you can about NPD and Narcissistic Abuse. You need to open your eyes and wake up to what you are really dealing with.
Secondly, you need to realize that you cannot change a Narcissist. They don’t want to be changed, no matter how many times they tell you they do, or they will change. They simply will not. You cannot make that happen.
Thirdly, you need to understand that it’s not your fault, and you’re not to blame. You’re not an inferior, flawed person. You just had the misfortune to be targeted by a Narcissist.
Fourthly, you need to own up to your part in this tragic play - this Shakespearian Tragedy that has become your life. You need to take responsibility for the part you are playing, and that is YOU... you are enabling the Narcissist to continue abusing you. It’s up to you to stop.
And finally, you need to seek professional help and support to break the cycle of abuse, understand why you attracted it in the first place, and do the inner work of healing, work that will completely free you from the pain, and ensure you never fall into the same trap again.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. There ARE things you can do and you don’t have to keep on being a victim. If you’ve decided that enough is enough, that you can’t take one more day of this mental torture, then I can help you.