Blog - Narcissistic Abuse Healing

Questions and answers to help you understand and heal from this virulent, toxic form of abuse.

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic Abuse Relationships
Hallmarks of Narcissistic Abuse

Why it's NOT as hard to break the trauma bond as you might think... and what do coloured doors have to do with it?

‘How can I possibly be pining for a person who has put me though absolute hell? I know it’s a trauma bond but wow, this is so frickin’ HARD!!! I am in agonising pain and on the verge of admitting myself to hospital because I just can’t cope. How can I stop this?’ That’s a message I received from one of my support group members recently and it’s not an uncommon one.

Maria McMahon

03.07.2022

trauma bond, trauma bonding, breaking the trauma bond, narcissistic trauma bondings

Maria's Healing Insights

Is Johnny Depp a Narcissist?

I’m guessing that you have probably been following at least some of the Johnny Depp / Amber Heard trial, as it’s hard to miss it due to the high profile of JD in particular, and the obsession the media has with anything celebrity. I’ve been following as much as I can - and let’s face it, there’s a LOT to try and keep up with - and I have shared a lot of highlights with my FB Group members, and one of the most recent parts of the trial that came up that got some people (especially the JD fans) confused, was the testimony of psychiatrist Dr. David Spiegel, who was called by AH’s defence team, and who said JD might be a narcissist. And then the cross-examination shows you what a farce it really is.

Maria McMahon

28.05.2022

Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, Narcissistic abuse relationship, Intimate partner violence, IPV

Narcissistic Abuse Relationships

7 Tips to handle the narcissistic discard

Discarding is the final stage of the trifecta in narcissistic abuse – love bomb, devalue, discard - although it’s by no means always the end of the line. Their reign of destruction continues with hoovering, flying monkeys and smear campaigns to carry on wreaking havoc in your life, and that’s literally what happens – if you let it. Narcissists discard people like toxic waste and it can be absolutely devastating.

Maria McMahon

14.02.2022

narcissistic abuse, narcissistic discard, narcissisticabusehealing

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Should you 'Get it off your chest' with a Narcissist?

To want to get revenge, get your own back is human nature. When we’ve been wronged and hurt, it’s our moral right to want to defend ourselves. We think that they deserve a piece of our mind, and in most normal relationships, when we’ve been cheated on or betrayed and we confront the person who’s done that to us, they are usually sorry, ashamed or whatever.

Maria McMahon

10.02.2022

narcissistic abuse, Revenge on your Narcissist

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

3 Tips to ditch the shame of narcissistic abuse

Do you feel shameful about your narcissistic relationship? If so, I promise you, you’re not alone. Many of the people I’ve worked with said they felt too ashamed to tell anyone, especially when they were married or were in a long-term relationship, and everyone thought their partner was lovely.

Maria McMahon

10.02.2022

narcissistic abuse, Narcissistic Abuse Healing, narcissistic abuse shame, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Uncategorised

How do you handle judgemental people when you go back to your Narcissist?

People go back time and time again to their Narcissistic Abuser, before they finally say 'Enough is enough!' and reach out for help Previous to that, even though they knew that going back would just keep on breaking their hearts, the compulsion to go back was irresistible. But there is a REASON why this happens...

Maria McMahon

10.02.2022

Going back to your Narcissistic Abuser

Narcissistic Abuse Relationships

Can you 'Fix' a Narcissist? Here's the Harsh Truth

This is something that many people ask, and they hold in their hearts the belief that maybe their Narcissist can be cured, or maybe they can fix them. Sadly though, the fact is, they can’t be ‘fixed’. The nature of NPD itself means that Narcissists don’t think there is anything wrong with them. They think they are perfect and that the world should bend to their every whim, so they rarely ever seek treatment.

Maria McMahon

10.02.2022

Fixing the Narcissist

Narcissistic Abuse Relationships

Trauma Bonding: Why you still love a Narcissist and how to stop! 9 Tips to Break the Bond

One of the first questions a victim of Narcissistic Abuse is often asked after they reveal the depths of despair they were in during their relationship with a Narcissist, is ‘Why didn’t you leave sooner’, or worse, ‘Why the hell did you go BACK?’ Victims of Narcissistic abuse frequently leave the relationship because it was unbearable to be...

Maria McMahon

10.02.2022

Trauma Bonding, Narcissistic Abuse Healing

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic Hoovering - Don't get sucked in!

Vacuum Cleaners, aka Hoovers, suck up dust and debris. The term hoovering is used to describe a common tactic the narcissist uses after the discard phase, usually in multiple attempts to ‘suck’ you back into the relationship. To the narc, you’re nothing more than dust and debris that needs to be hovered up and spat back out again when he’s done abusing you a second (or more!) times around.

Maria McMahon

10.02.2022

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, narcissistic hoovering

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Why are you never, ever, ever enough for a Narcissist?

Narcissists have an insatiable appetite for fuel, so no matter what you do for them, it will never, ever, be enough. And when that starts to happen, they become angry and disappointed that you’re not living up to their ridiculous and totally unattainable standards. That’s why they start devaluing you. They will criticize absolutely every single thing about you that they possibly can.

Maria McMahon

09.02.2022

Narcissistic Relationships

Narcissistic Abuse Relationships

Why is Narcissistic Abuse Harder for men to cope with? 5 Reasons you can't ignore

Narcissistic Abuse is impossibly hard on anyone, but it’s doubly so for a man caught in the trap. Why? There are several reasons. One is, because typically women garner sympathy more easily than men. Typically women were thought of as the ‘weaker sex’, right or wrong. But the truth is... women can be a lot more...

Maria McMahon

09.02.2022

Female Narcissists, Narcissistic Abuse to men

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

How to go 'No (or Low) Contact' with a Narcissist

No contact means just that. You sever all ties with the narc. Delete / block their phone / email. Block them on FB and social media. In case they have sent you threatening or ugly emails, texts or smeared you on social media, make a copy of everything and file it somewhere safe. You may need it for legal purposes.

Maria McMahon

09.02.2022

no contact, low contact, narcissisticabuserecovery

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

If a Narcissist tells you they love you, are they lying?

It's not a nice question to ask, but unfortunately, the truth is that you have to ask yourself this question, and I hope this article will encourage you to burst the bubble if you believe otherwise, and be prepared for the brutal truth.

Maria McMahon

09.02.2022

narcissist lies, narcissistic love, narcissisticabuserecovery

Narcissistic Abuse Relationships

What is Narcissistic Triangulation? Understanding the Positive & Negative

Triangulation is a tactic Narcissists use to employ a third party by bringing them into the relationship (superficially or otherwise) in their attempts to belittle, confuse, or worry you, create jealousy, fear of loss and causing you to vie for their attention and affections. So triangulation involves three people – the narcissist, their victim, and the ‘third party’ who gets drawn into the drama, usually in a covert operation orchestrated by the narcissist.

Maria McMahon

08.02.2022

Narcissistic Triangulation

Narcissistic Abuse Relationships

What is Cognitive Dissonance and how can you 'Fix' it?

Cognitive Dissonance came from American Social Psychologist Leon Festinger, and the theory is that we have this inner drive to hold all our attitudes and behaviour in harmony to avoid disharmony, or dissonance. When something gets in the way of that, we get cognitive inconsistency. But what does that actually mean for you?

Maria McMahon

08.02.2022

Cognitive Dissonance, narcissistic abuse

Hallmarks of Narcissistic Abuse

4 Tactical Tips for dealing with a Narcissist/Bully at work

A bully at work can make your life a living hell. I know, because I’ve worked with clients who have shared their horror stories with me. Narcissists often show up in the workplace, and to make matters worse, they are often in positions of authority.

Maria McMahon

08.02.2022

Narcissistic Abuse at work, Work Bullying

Narcissistic Abuse Relationships

What is 'Love-Bombing' & How do you Heal from it?

Love-Bombing, also known as 'Idealization' is the first stage a Narcissist uses to engage, snare and capture you. The narcissist will hone in on his (or her) target like bees round a honeypot. He (or she) will have researched you (via social media, friends, or colleagues), to find out as much as possible about you. This means that when they contacts you, they knows what to say to get your interest. You’ll feel an immediate rapport with him or her.

Maria McMahon

02.02.2022

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse, Trauma Bonding, Love Bombing

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

What are the hallmarks of Narcissistic Abuse? 12 You Need to Know!

Narcissists are nothing if not predictable. In the romantic Narcissistic scenario, the 'Trifecta' is typically, 'Love-Bombing', 'Devaluing' and 'Discarding'. Often followed by 'Hoovering', and then the whole cycle starts again. When they get to the devaluing stage, that’s when the ‘nasty’ really begins. The will start by doing any or all of the following – and these are just some examples…

Maria McMahon

01.02.2022

Hallmarks of Narcissistic Abuse

Are you in a relationship with a Narcissist? It's Complicated!

Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes, and affect both men and women, because both can be Narcissists. Maybe you have a Narcissistic Mother, Father, Husband or Wife? If so then you'll know that living with one is a nightmare, hell on earth existence. You need to learn all you can about this insidious form of psychological (and often physical) abuse so that you can learn how to get out.

Maria McMahon

01.02.2022

Narcissistic Relationships

Narcissistic Abuse Relationships

25 Gaslighting Phrases & how to interpret them

I’m going to share a bunch of phrases with you that will help you know if you are (or were) being gaslighted, and what you can do to put a stop to it – not the gaslighting itself, because you can’t stop Narcs from doing what they do, but if you’re still in the relationship with this person and you can't get out - or even if you have gotten out, but you still keep going back over stuff and ruminating about it and asking yourself constantly if you were crazy, or too sensitive or jealous or whatever – you need to know the truth, and what you can do to stop buying into the narc’s gaslighting BS.

Maria McMahon

30.01.2022

Gaslighting Narcissistic Abuse, Narcissistic Abuse Healing

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

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Questions and answers to help you understand and heal from this virulent, toxic form of abuse.

Why it's NOT as hard to break the trauma bond as you might think... and what do coloured doors have to do with it?

Is Johnny Depp a Narcissist?

7 Tips to handle the narcissistic discard

Should you 'Get it off your chest' with a Narcissist?

3 Tips to ditch the shame of narcissistic abuse

How do you handle judgemental people when you go back to your Narcissist?

Can you 'Fix' a Narcissist? Here's the Harsh Truth

Trauma Bonding: Why you still love a Narcissist and how to stop! 9 Tips to Break the Bond

Narcissistic Hoovering - Don't get sucked in!

Why are you never, ever, ever enough for a Narcissist?

Why is Narcissistic Abuse Harder for men to cope with? 5 Reasons you can't ignore

How to go 'No (or Low) Contact' with a Narcissist

If a Narcissist tells you they love you, are they lying?

What is Narcissistic Triangulation? Understanding the Positive & Negative

What is Cognitive Dissonance and how can you 'Fix' it?

4 Tactical Tips for dealing with a Narcissist/Bully at work

What is 'Love-Bombing' & How do you Heal from it?

What are the hallmarks of Narcissistic Abuse? 12 You Need to Know!

Are you in a relationship with a Narcissist? It's Complicated!

25 Gaslighting Phrases & how to interpret them

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